10 Secrets to cleaning your house without really cleaning!!

Lets discuss a second this very important topic!
Setting the stage...

Its the morning and my children or your children or your dog cat bird etc.... are up and running amuck! Before you know it your house has the mark of a disaster zone!!! A tornado...a hurricane... a typhoon....an earthquake!! You know those days!! You are tired and sleep deprived for whatever reason and do not have the desire to clean however, you know that if you don't do something your significant other will come home and ask the dreaded question:'WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO ALL DAY?'

Well here is what you can do to prevent that from occurring!

1. Wait till about an hour before he/she comes home!

 Now you must move quickly otherwise my advice will not work!

2. If you have laundry in the dryer that is in need of folding, give it the finger and restart it! This always works! Your spouse will think you have been hard at work on laundry!

3. If there are dishes in the sink and you have a dishwasher....LOAD IT!! I know this seems like common sense but understand ITS NOT!! No one likes to load anything let alone the dishwasher! I promise you this will be the most work thus far!

4. The Bathroom!! Ick no one likes to clean the bathroom. So here is what I propose. Dump some bleach in the toilet! Spray a whole lotta cleaner in the bathtub and wipe the faucet! This will give the look of HI I AM CLEAN!

5. Counters!! If you have crap on counters tables endtables etc.... Pick it all up and PICK A DRAWER!! Any drawer will do!! THEN DUMP AND SHUT!

6. For the rest of your crap you have lying around, pick a closet and START SHOVING! 9 times out of 10 your spouse will not even care to look over your work as they are tired from their long day of work!

7. Sweeping/vacuuming: I hate to sweep but really I hate to pick up what I have swept so in a pinch I open the backdoor and sweep everything onto the back porch! Quick and easy!

oh and if you have carpet just run the vacuum 2-3 times over the carpet to give the look of I VACUUMED!!

8. SHUT ALL THE BEDROOM DOORS AND DO NOT OPEN THEM!! This will give you the feeling of AWE ALL IS WELL IN THE OTHER ROOMS even though they are a wreck. The spouse again will not care to look until bedtime! At the time he/she will be too tired to jump your sh*t for not making the beds!

9. FABREEZE!!! This is a very important step!! FABREEZE will be your friend in a pinch, promise! Walk through the entire house and FABREEZE the hell out of it! This gives off the AWE SO FRESH AND SO CLEAN feeling!

If you are still with me congratulations!! You have successfully cleaned your house without cleaning! You are probably wondering what #10 is??? This is the final step to cleaning without cleaning and that is:

10.

Pour yourself a great big glass of wine.... YOU DESERVE IT!! Cleaning is hard work and you should be proud! You are a STAR SPOUSE and deserve a break!
This post brought to you by the mom who is tired and well TIRED!!
*warning I type and spellcheck quickly and do not read over it as my OCD will kick in and I will retype the 'HOLE IN TIRE' post! I am responsible for all typing errors and do not care if they are right or wrong* Just understand that I am owning it, that is all! Enjoy!